When I started this blog I wasn't sure what it would be. I decided that I ought to start at the beginning and work my way to the present, therefore I started with where my Paleo journey took root and blossomed. I thought I needed to write chronologically from there so that you all could follow along, see the progression, and start a journey of your own if so motivated. Since my first post, however, I haven't had the inspiration to sit down and add that next step. I've had lots of ideas for paleo- and Crossfit-themed blog posts, don't get me wrong, I just thought I couldn't post them because they weren't in the "right" order. You see how far that got me... two weeks since my first entry and not another word. So, I'm taking a lesson from my own journey and "letting go." If there is anything I've learned from the past 5 months of my life, it's how to let go. I've learned to let go of preconceived notions of health, nutrition, and fitness; let go of old habits; let go of what I "knew" to be right; let go of "should" and of "can't" and of "what if." I have learned to let go of the debilitating fears of the unknown and of change and of experimentation. Oh, I'm still scared a lot of the time, but I have let go of the grip that fear has on me to not "do it anyway" (thanks Janet). I'm still scared of failure (whatever that is). And, quite possibly, equally as scared of success. But I'm letting go, and doing it anyway.
So, now I'm letting go of the "shoulds" and the "plans" for this blog. Letting go of the fear that if it isn't perfect, if it isn't chronologically written, if it isn't wholly informative AND factual AND inspiring then no one will like it or read it or be affected by it. Those fears, those limitations - they aren't serving me. They aren't helping me to track this journey or feel the catharsis of writing or touch even one person with each post. And those three things are what I'd like to achieve with this blog. So it seems that putting the goal-oriented limitations on this project were in fact hindering my achieving those very goals. A little convoluted maybe, but true. And a great lesson. So I'm going to write about what's on my little fat-fueled mind today and consider this post successful no matter what. I feel good about writing, I feel good about letting go, and if even one reader feels good after seeing this entry, I choose to be wholly satisfied with that.
Okay, Okay... so what's with the title of this post? Many, many people who follow a paleolithic way of eating also enjoy Crossfit as their main form of exercise. I begin Crossfit almost exactly two months ago and have quickly become enamored with the "sport of fitness." Crossfit is constantly varied functional movements performed at relatively high intensity. For the past 5 weeks, athletes all over the world have been competing in the Crossfit Open to qualify for this summer's Crossfit Games. I, of course, am not competing, but have been doing the weekly competition WODs each Thursday at my gym. Holy crap. I usually Crossfit 3x per week, and these competition WODs have been the highlight of the past month or so. Today was the final Open Workout. And it. was. brutal. 13.5 consisted of Thrusters and Chest-to-Bar pull ups. What the heck is a chest-to-bar? It's something I can't do, that's what it is. In crossfit, I do a lot of scaling down. I scale weights, I scale reps (though less and less now!), and I scale movements. (Crossfit is accesible to anyone in this way!) Today I scaled the weights on my thrusters to 60% of the prescribed weight (I went with 40#), and I did only one round of chest to bar pull ups and two rounds of strict pull ups (assisted by a green band). We'll see if I can even use my arms by the end of the day. Going into this workout, I was unsure and I was scared. I can't even DO chest-to-bars, and thrusters make me want to cry. But I did it anyway. I decided to focus on what I CAN do instead of what I CAN'T do (yet). I put emphasis on having immaculate form for my thrusters instead of a heavy weight on the barbell. I pushed myself to have a higher rep count with the pull ups instead of whine about not being able to do C2Bs. I am proud of the number of reps I finished in 8 minutes, but I know I can do better. And that's the point. Every time I walk into the box, I walk out stronger. In XF, there are all kinds of motivational statements on the wall, on our shirts, on our socks even! The thing is, they're all true. Sure, sometimes I'm discouraged or feel that I'm not progressing quickly enough or lifting heavy enough, but that's just my desire to be better and I am able to funnel that into constructive criticism and positive encouragement. In general, though, I'm amazed with myself. Never did I ever think I could lift weights let alone enjoy it. I never thought I'd love burpees (or love to hate burpees), run more than a mile, or do 7 consecutive double unders. I find myself wishing I could be at Green Mtn Crossfit every day of the week. I have a healthy competition with myself and a desire to always learn more and be better. I talk about, think about, write about exercise (and food!). This, from a girl who grew up inside a theatre, got notes written to skip gym class, quit softbal in the 5th grade, and was terrified of a friendly game of kickball. Who'd have thunk it?
So what's my point? I guess it's whatever you want it to be. There are dozens of messages and lessons in this post as they pertain to me. But what do they all mean to you? Do you need to learn to let go? To "be scared, but do it anyway?" Do you want to see a change in your health but doubt your ability? Do you want to switch gears and begin focusing on what you can do instead of what you can't (yet) do? All of the above? And then some? Yeah, me too. I hope that any of this has touched you, has inspired you, has taught you something... even if it's just what a burpee is (add 10 a day to your life and see what happens, aside from just hating me for it). What's in your way today? Can you let it go?
Peace, love and paleo,
Dani
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